Oh hey! As everyone in the entire freaking world probably knows, yesterday was Mother’s Day. I didn’t post a sappy, happy post about how much I love my mom because I was busy hanging out with my mom… ’cause it was Mother’s Day. Also, I always talk about how much I love her. ‘Cause she freaking rules. And I got her a Bo Burnham (don’t click on the link unless you have headphones on-very, very not safe for work) CD instead of like, flowers, or whatever responsible children give their mothers. Oh yeah, baby.
In other news, the other day Thea e-mailed me with an awesome rap she wrote. I promptly wrote back, she replied, etc. I haven’t rapped back to her latest e-mail, but I’ll keep you posted.
Wanna hear some raps? (P.S. All spelling/grammar errors are from the original versions. I’m not editing.)
Daisy’s so awesome she’s the star of the stars
smart enough to build a rocket to go to mars
Only sometimes does she have a problem with a fraction
*whisper* and sometimes its funny to see her reaction
But man that don’t matter at all you see
Because she’s awesome. bookworm. Da-a-a-a-is–yyy
Thea is awesome, she’s the best friend evar
She’s environmental, won’t go ridin’ in a car
She’d much rather take her rollerblades
And she’s too responsible to want to have a maid
Well, okay, maybe she doesn’t like to fold her clothes
But she’s super awesome at math, she never says, “Oh no!”
She’s the bestest, she’s better than the restest
She smart, so she’ll beat all the testests!
That was supposed to be like “test”
That’s kinda gross!
Okay, so my rap sort of fell apart there at the end
But Thea won’t care ’cause she’s a freaking awesome friend!
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
LISTEN UP YALL
Here’s a little rap about friend
whos awesomefullness you can’t possibly comprehend
Here sweet little name is a flower, (Daisy!)
what she make me like (C-c-c-c-CRAZY!)
YO, YO, YO, YO
and heres a list of things thats shes good at
writing, fighting, and petting a cat.
reading, succeeding, not being a brat
loving, shoving, somehow not being fat
you walk by her shed say “I’d tap that.”
hurting herself in so many ways
running into walls then passing out in a haze
always using the correct phrase.
(BITCH IM IN A CRAZE)
Yall better love her or ill come to your door
knock you out with a baseball bat and staple you to the floor
put your hand in warm water so you wet yourself
cover you with hollandaise and sell you to a elf
yo, yo, yo, yo
This is McThea out YALL!
Thea is the best friend in the world
She’s a stellartastic friend, and a pretty cute girl
I mean that in a platonic way
‘Cause I’m down with that, but I’m just not gay
She’s good at numbers and fractions and math
She’ll stab you to death if you invoke her wrath
She can draw like DaVinci, paint like O’Keefe
She’s kind of a ninja, but she’s not a thief
If you’re mean to her, then I’ll punch you in the face
Stab you and smear your guts all over the place
I’ll shiv you right here if you make fun of her
‘Cause she’s so nice to me, oh yeah, for sure!
I’m not down with you hating on my friend
and if you do it will be you who I end
’cause I love Daisy in a special way
but I can tell you right now that its not gay
and if you hate on her
ill cut you in a blur
ill slice your neck so fast the blood comes out blue
yea I’m sayin’ this to you
so to all yall haters heres a warning
you won’t live to see the next morning
cause Daisy and I will go ninja on your ass
and through the seventh level of hell you will not get past
cause you committed to many sins just for hating on Daisy
hopefully being in hell will make you crazy
and yes I know I already used that rhyme
but who fraking cares its a couple of lines
So if you hate my friend Daisy
don’t let your senses get to lazy
cause you’ve been warned
and if you do you will be scorned
Daisy’s notes: The “somehow not being fat” thing in Thea’s second rap is a reference to how I eat a lot and am, surprisingly, not morbidly obese. And the “hurting herself in so many ways running into walls then passing out in a haze” is about how I’m a klutz and I get hurt a lot. Also, it is supposed to be McThea, not MC Thea.
Awesome: Charlie freaking McDonnell. Oh my God. How have I not watched any of his videos before? He’s awesome. And he has an English accent. Squee!
Also awesome:Oh my God, they’re making Scott Pilgrim into a movie. Starring Michael Cera. Yes yes yes yes yes.
Also also awesome: I made a video today! Finally! Yay! I’ll post it on my YouTube channel soon.
Unawesome: My stomach hurts ’cause I ate like, five pounds of pizza.