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Angry Poetry, It’s, Its, and Dogs March 3, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — bookwormdaisy @ 9:09 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Oh hey! This is going to be pretty short, ’cause I have to go walk me some dogs and then go to drama class, where I’ll probably fight until my muscles cry and bleed. But that’s okay. I love theater class. It just makes my weak, unexcersised muscles screeeaaam.

Anyway, first off, The Bloggess was giving out awards for various things today, and I decided to award myself this one:

Oh yeah, baby.

Secondly, Kim gave us an assignment today to write insult poems. I only have one so far, and it’s complaining about spammers. You know, in your e-mail. This will probably be ridiculously embarrassing, but that’s cool with me. Also, I tried to space it better, but WordPress has major issues sometimes. It starts at “I do not want a penis enlargement” and ends at “At least I know I am!” On second thought, I’ll just put it all in italics.

Angry Letter to Spammers

I do not want a penis enlargement or a cheap replica watch

And if you ask me one more time, I’ll kick you in the crotch.

Don’t want my man-junk to be bigger

(An operation you’ll probably botch.)

It’s not like I’m against this

Or that I think it’s wrong

It’s just that I’m quite against spam

And I don’t care if my penis is long.

And if you use my name again

In the subject line

I swear to God, I swear I’ll do it

I’ll snap your freaking spine.

I know I’m not the only one

Who hates your stupid spam

Everyone I know is done

At least I know I am!

Ohhhh goodness. That was fun!

Awesome: Tyrol and Elvis together. Hopefully forever.

Unawesome: I’m so out of shape my gusts will probably burst out all over Barbara’s dogs, but that’s okay, ’cause it’s fun, and Barbara just had hip replacements. The lady seriously needs some dog walking help.

P.S. We just got a call from New Jersey and then British Columbia. Um?


2 Responses to “Angry Poetry, It’s, Its, and Dogs”

  1. Mum Says:

    Okay, I don’t even know where to start with this one. The Bloggess’ banner is fantastic. Your whole style of writing is marvelous.

    Tyrol and Elvis . . . does it get much better? I think not.

    But that insult poem! A thing of beauty indeed! Oooh I love it. (I probably shouldn’t have signed you up for the state’s anti-spam registry that tries to keep “adult” spam out of designated email boxes–now you won’t have material. Oh, wait, there’s plenty of irritating stupidity in the world, isn’t there?)

  2. bookwormdaisy Says:

    Thanks a bunch! 🙂

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